A few things I miss

Times have changed, I've gotten older, and as I stare at a proposal for a new furnace to replace the one in our garage that is apparently just moments away from killing us all in our sleep, I'm inspired to think back to a simpler time.  A time before cell phones and sodium restrictions and central heating that they tell me requires regular maintenance.  A time of wonder and innocence.  

A few things I miss:

• The smell of a card catalog.  I can't describe it - and I was probably allergic to it - but I miss it.
• Eating an entire pizza and not really thinking much about it.  Although if I'd thought about it then, I perhaps wouldn't have to think about it nearly as much now.
• Wondering about things.  There is no more mystery; now you can Google anything.  Granted, what you learn from the Internet might be utter rubbish, but at least you can pretend it didn't come from your own head.  Unless you are my friend Ben who updates Wikipedia to include stuff he makes up.  
• Going for long drives.  Considering that the price of gas is around 16-20 cents a mile (in my vehicles), you have to really want to go somewhere.  And, yes, I do think of quick drives to the store in terms of how much the gas will cost me.  I'm an accountant!
• Photocopying body parts.  Nobody does this any more because it's wasteful.  It's sad.  I remember all those lovely black and white printouts of smooshed faces and hands and I weep that my kids may never do something so silly.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Kids can always find new ways to be silly.
• Writing letters.  There used to be something so exciting about going to the mailbox, wondering what news it will bring.  Now the most exciting thing the mailbox brings are bills that I haven't managed to pay electronically   A lot of magazines are even going digital, abandoning the post office, which is left sadly delivering piles of junk mail.  There must be hardly any postcards for the mailmen to read any more.  
• Experimenting with Jell-O.  Okay, I'm lying.  I don't miss this at all, and I'm glad that it mostly died in the 80s.  My mom used to fill orange-flavored Jell-O with grated carrot (I'm guessing because they are both orange).  It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't terribly good, either. (I love you, Mom!)  I'm just glad she didn't ever do meaty aspic.  

Whenever I make lists like this, I'm struck by how few things I actually miss and how silly most of them are.  The truth is that a lot of the changes are good.  For example, email is a great way to communicate - fast, free, and easy to attach pictures to.  And I didn't actually need a photocopy of my cheek, anyway.  

So I will be thankful for what I have, accept the inevitable furnace replacement along with the rest of my adult responsibilities, and leave you with one important lesson: Remember to change your furnace filters!  

Getting old before my time

I know that I'm not that old.  I do.  But sometimes I feel old.  It might have something to do with having four surgeries in eighteen months, but it goes deeper than that. I will present the evidence and you can tell me what you think.

Twelve Reasons I Think I'm Old

1. Classic Rock stations play music from my childhood.
2. I care deeply about retirement. (Although this could be because I'm an accountant.)
3. When dining out I spend half an hour evaluating different options based on whether they will work with my specific physical, dietary, and financial requirements.  99% of the time I decide it's easier to eat at home.  Besides, then I don't have to put on real pants.
4. The "hottest bachelors" in People Magazine look like they aren't old enough to vote, let alone get married.
5. I've paid less than a dollar per gallon for gas, and it doesn't feel like it was that long ago.  Except it was nearly 20 years ago, and this is why I'm old.
6. I'm not too cool to do that stupid dance.  I'm just pretty sure my knees aren't up to it.
7. Similarly, I now take glucosamine for my joint health.
8. Children I once taught are married with school-age children of their own.  These are not the kids that got knocked up in high school.
9. Movies and television shows from my childhood now look really old.  Have you tried watching an episode of MacGyver?  It's grainier than Perry Mason was when I was a kid.
10. Speaking of Perry Mason, it started in 1957, which means that it was about as old when I was watching it as MacGyver would be to my kids today.
11. Buildings my age have dry rot.
12. It has been thirty-five years since the Blazers won the NBA Championship.  I'm getting old here, people!

So, since I'm officially old, here's some fun nostalgia from my childhood.  A lot of it is very local, so it may only work for kids who grew up in Portland watching too much TV.

The Pop Shoppe.  When I was a kid we always had a red crate from the Pop Shoppe full of bottles of soda.  We'd take the crate of empty bottles back to the Pop Shoppe and exchange them for full bottles of all different kinds of soda.  It was like magic!  I miss it.  This is silly of me since I can't drink soda any more (because I'm old) and if I did I could always get it at Cosmic Soda Pop and Candy Shop.

The Kite Man.  Just watch the commercial.  Either you saw it as a kid or you didn't.  Either way it is WEIRD.  The 'stache is awesome, though, isn't it?

Ramblin' Rod.  I told you I watched too much TV.  When I was a kid the coolest thing in the world was being on Ramblin' Rod and getting to smile into the camera and cheer for the cartoons.  Now the whole thing seems creepy to me, but much of my childhood does.  This clip on YouTube is especially awesome because it mentions The Pop Shoppe.  (I am not receiving any endorsements from The Pop Shoppe.  I promise.)

He-Man.  Yet more TV.  Is that all I ever did?  Yes.  Back then excessive TV-watching was considered a sign of intelligence.  I'm not going to provide a link to this one because it still gets some syndication, which I find especially impressive considering how absolutely dreadful the show is.  

Hostess Choco-Bliss.  I spent my childhood consuming a lot of Hostess treats.  However, by the time I reached adolescence the pathetic Ding-Dongs and Cupcakes of my childhood were replaced by the wonder of the Choco-Bliss.  Two layers of devils food with a whipped chocolaty filling and chocolate frosting.  Mmmmm.  I was walking to 7-Eleven to buy one of these tasty treats in high school when I was picked up by the cops for violating curfew.  That's why they discontinued them.  They were contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  X-Entertainment has a nice discussion of the demise of this particular snack cake and a really awesome TV commercial.

Is there anything you are particularly nostalgic about?